FUNNIEST Tweets EVER!
So it was only fair that I got the ball rolling – and it was absolutely necessary that I ticked all the major loves in my life… Lets begin with Twitter for now
“Tall Irishman seeks desperate female for boozing and xbox appreciation. Ladies under 5ft must supply own stepladder. Cake-making is a serious plus.”
Now let’s watch our fellow tweeps as they pour their hearts out…
Anne11Duke: COMPUTER GEEK WANTED that knows all the right buttons to push. Must know way around hard drive. Rebooting skills a plus. Training required.
annaclarasoares: South-American beauty, toilet trained and vaccinated, looks for billionaire aged 80+ for sincere and passionate relationship.
lisam75: Impatient, fat, grumpy mum of 2 seeks obscenely rich guitarist with beard. Must have own teeth, walk in wardrobe, and cleaner.
ByGina: Twitteraholic seeks illiterate husband, i.e. won’t read out tweets as you type, ask inane questions and give out about ‘bloody twitting’.
samanthai: Mild Schizophrenic, 37, seeks well-hung male for festive candle-lit dinners, drinking, the odd S&M sexcapade – dancer a plus!
Anne11Duke: BAD HABIT WANTED!! Don’t have to be Mr. Right just Mr. Right Now!! No experience necessary, just a strong desire to learn.
SkittleMittens: Female ex-circus performer, 22, seeks male, hairy, into animals, mutual shaving and adult nappies. Freaks need not apply.
VioletsCRUK: Homely dominatrix seeks gimp for walks on the beach, attending knitting classes and candle wax on the nipples. Good whipping skills a must!
scooby867: Male wannabe Liverpool FC captain seeks female, blondette, into cartoon dogs, away ground quickies and jaffacakes. Big boobs not essential.
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